2015 Bropening Day

These are the first games of the year, all times EST.

Los Angeles (Claypound Kershaw)

at St. Louis (Lowe Gas-Prices)

Wed, May 20, 11:05 AM, London, UK

Prediction: Both teams suck, but I think Gas-Prices will struggle in London, as the prices are actually quite high there, so I'll pick the Drowners.

New Jersey (Clyde Duncan)

at Wyoming (H.P. Sanderson)

Mon, May 25, 3:05, Tallahassee, FL

Prediction: This classic matchup has gone the Kabutos way more often than not, and I believe it will again, unless the reigning AL Cy winner goes the way of his MLB equivalent.

California (Milwaukee Bumgarner or Colin Kaepernate)

at Indianapolis (Rick Santorum)

Mon, May 25, 3:05, Indianapolis, IN

Prediction: Scott will get a handicap during cornhole, as his opponent is turrible. That's how I'm able to pick both the Kabutos and the Republicans to win their first game.

Miami (Greg Someone)

at Dover (Jeffrey Independence)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, Dover, Delaware

Prediction: Dover will struggle this year because they can't get their crap straight. But they should win the first game.

Providence (Frank Anchor)

at New York (Gimaybe Smith, Bartolo Perfume, or Bryce Insignificant)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, New York, NY

Prediction: Both teams are reeling right now, but at least Providence has an actual ace, regardless of how old he's gotten. Providence should be able to beat whichever pitcher NY throws out there.

Lexington (Drew Breeze)

at Cleveland (Corey Gruber)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, Cleveland, OH

Prediction: Cleveland wins because I hope the Indians beat the Reds that same weekend.

Alaska (Russell Chilson)

at Albuquerque (Frank Sredhot)

Mon, May 25, 6:10, Albuquerque, NM

Prediction: Strong matchup between two young star pitchers, Alaska wins because they're the better overall team.

San Antonio (Steven Something)

at Mobile (Mo Bilal Abama)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, Mobile, AL

Prediction: Something looking old in LST, Mobile looking crappy in LST. Choosing San Antonio.

Tijuana (Fabio O'Yaya)

at San Diego (Mark Theshark)

Mon, May 25, 7:00, San Diego, CA

Prediction: Easy choice. Tijuana. Even though I think they lose the division.

Las Vegas (Brick Harrison)

at Hawaii (Tito Rocket)

Mon, May 25, 9:05, Honolulu, HI

Prediction: Hawaii hasn't lost a Bropening Day at home ever. And the Debtors remind me nothing of the hunt. Picking Hawaii.

Barrie (Residence Assistant Dickey)

at Atlantic Ocean (Cosmo Sanderson)

Mon, May 25, 5:05, San Juan, PR (ish)

Prediction: Barrie begins its quest toward being a 39-41 playoff team by losing game one.

Detroit (Chad Turbine)

at Pittsburgh (Ben Roethmorehotdog)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, Pittsburgh, PA

Prediction: Evenly matched game one goes to Deeetroit.

Philadelphia (Sam Trotford or Hoh Sanchez, probably not Tim Coffeebow)

at Boston (Clay Dollarholz)

Mon, May 25, 4:05, Boston, MA)

Prediction: Philly was terrible before they lost their only deent pitcher for the year. They'll struggle to win fifteen games, and this probably won't be one of them.

Virginia Beach (Cam Oldton)

at Totemsburgh (Chris Auction)

Tue, May 26, 8:11, Totemsburgh, IL

Prediction: Here's another good matchup, I'll take the away team.

Youngstown (Peter Penguin)

at Tampa (Robert Griffey III or Kirk Uncles)

Tue, May 26, 7:05, Tampa, FL

Prediction: Tampa just lost their ace to injury, Youngstown has had a very good LST. It will carry over, even without Bailey DeCanine, who's suspended five games for biting.